Irregular Johnny
Friday 2 December 2011
A pirate's life for thee
I have a confession to make: I used to download pirated games, films and music.
I don't have any of it any more, good Lord no. In fact I now own every game and almost every piece of music I ever pirated in the first place. Call it penance. One day I realised that all of those games, films and pieces of music were the hard work of other people who put time, effort and money into creating them. I felt pretty terrible at the idea that I'd basically taken their creative works and given nothing in payment.
So I deleted it all.
Nowadays I find myself being more and more up in arms about the piracy issue, mostly with video games. I'm quite embarrassingly reactionary about it sometimes. I get so sick and fed up of the excuses.
"I can't afford games, so I pirate them. It's not like I'd be able to pay for them anyway so what difference does it make to the company?"
"DRM is the cause of piracy, I pirate games because I hate all the intrusive DRM that publishers and developers add to their games these days."
"Video game publishers are corrupt and charge too much for games. If they lower the price I'll buy them."
I currently qualify as unemployed, unfortunately, and I live in an area so poor that if a new business that isn't a take-away lasts more than six months they deserve an award. I have a wife who's on maternity leave and a brand new baby son. You could say that our purse strings are sufficiently tight and rightly so. We almost threw a party at the discovery that we can afford Christmas this year and yet I don't pirate games. I wonder why?
Do I find it difficult to work out bittorrent, or to find my way around pirating websites? Nope. Thankfully I have a good idea of right and wrong and I know that stealing is most definitely the latter. Stealing can be acceptable if you're starving, because someone should be feeding you, but media is a luxury. No one's going to die by not owning The Witcher 2 and yet it's been pirated almost four times as often as it's been bought.
That brings me to the next argument: DRM.
Back when Indie dev 2D Boy released World of Goo they made it DRM free as an "experiment". In response to such a trusting decision the gaming community went ahead and did we all surely expected it to do: pirated dat shit.
Soon after it was reported that World of Goo had seen an 82% piracy rate. Not only was it DRM free, you can buy World of Goo for £6.99 on Steam. I'm unsure about how much it was at release, but it's an indie game. It wont have been £50.
Leading me neatly to the "costs too much" argument. Pirates often bring this up as if they're freedom fighters, battling to loosen us from the grip that the corporations have over our lives.
Talking to the pirates here, you feel the need to own these things so badly that you steal it en masse. You've been fooled into thinking that games, films and other media are necessary to lead a full life. Basically you're stealing their stuff for two reasons: you've a weak moral compass and their advertising works on you.
I've had a pirate accuse me of being a banker, because I oppose piracy, in the same way you'd accuse someone of being a child molester. That shows two things: how low on the social chain bankers are currently and how bat shit insane people can act on the internet. The basis of the accusation was that I was more interested in keeping companies afloat than I was in the interests of "the people". Hilarious.
No matter what the argument is, it's a smokescreen. Piracy isn't the symptom of poverty, DRM, or evil corporations it's the symptom of entitlement. These days we can get a hold of almost anything at the touch of a button. You want Crysis 2, Machine Gun Preacher and the top 50 albums on -insert pirate site here- (many of which you'll never listen to)? You can download them right now, free of charge.
Never mind the writers, lyricists, musicians, actors, coders, designers, editors, producers and anyone else who put hard work into generating these luxuries and pieces of art and whose wages rest in the hands of the companies who publish them.
Just you take it for free. There's a good thieving slave-child.
Sunday 27 November 2011
Give me complexity or give me death
I've been, shall we say, 'jonesing' for a game like The Witcher for the past few months.
Every now and then I need a game that openly mocks my console gaming peasant status and The Witcher does just that. It thrusts you in front of a mirror, rips off all your clothes and exposes you for the pathetic, simple-minded moron that you are.
I love it.
I love that I need to have a little rest when performing alchemy, because mixing ingredients is bloody hard work. I love that the autosave is so gut wrenchingly awful that I've twice been set back about an hour in play time. Most of all I love that it's not afraid to kick my teeth in every now and then.
The brutality isn't reserved just for the user interface or the difficulty, either, the setting is unbelievably dark for an action RPG. It falls into the old writing trap of using lots of swears to prove you're a big boy/girl, but the characters do feel believable and they fit right in with the depressing world they inhabit.
I hear that The Witcher 2 is just as stupidly complex but with faster combat and an even beefier story.
Call me a masochist, but I must have it.
Friday 25 November 2011
Fear of commitment
Thanks to digital distribution I now own a lot of games I haven't finished and rarely play.
First world problems, right? I know I'm basically complaining about having a lot of things but the real issue isn't that I own them, it's that the mountain of unfinished games has started to becoming intimidating.
Here's a list of all the Steam games I own at the moment but haven't finished (HUGE LIST):
Crysis Warhead
Dark Messiah of Might and Magic
Dark Messiah of Might and Magic
Empire: Total War
Alien vs Predator Classic
Alpha Prime
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl
Warhammer 40k: Dawn of War 2
Warhammer 40k: Dawn of War 2 Chaos Rising
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
A.R.E.S.
Alien Breed 2: Assault
And Yet It Moves
Atom Zombie Smasher
Ben There, Dan That
Borderlands
Broken Sword - Directors Cut
Cogs
Command and Conquer 4: Tiberian Twilight
Commandos: Behind Enemy Lines
Commandos: Beyond the Call of Duty
Commandos 2: Men of Courage
Commandos 2: Destination Berlin
Darksiders
Defense Grid: The Awakening
Deus Ex: GOTY
Deus Ex: Invisible War
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
Fallout: New Vegas
Far Cry
Far Cry 2
Fate of the World
Frozen Synapse
Gemini Rue
Grand Theft Auto IV
Hamilton's Great Adventure
Hitman: Blood Money
King Arthur - The Role-playing Wargame
Napoleon: Total War
Oddworld: Abe's Exoddus
Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee
Oddworld: Munch's Oddysee
Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath
On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode 1
On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness, Episode 2
Saints Row 2
Sanctum
Star Wars - Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast
Star Wars - Jedi Knight: Mysteries of the Sith
Star Wars - Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II
Star Wars - Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy
Star Wars - Dark Forces
Terraria
Time Gentlemen, Please!
Torchlight
Trine
VVVVVV
The Witcher: Enhanced Edition
Just looking at that list now is giving me a mild panic attack. I'm not even sure I'd manage to finish them all if I devoted the rest of my life to it. So many games.
The problem, of course, isn't actually finishing them. The problem is focusing on any single one for long to enough to finish it, which I simply can't force myself to do. The Steam sales have been a curse on my wallet, but now they're destroying my ability to fully enjoy games!
I always default back to my console when things like this happen, but this time I'm going to try and concentrate. I got The Witcher and Fallout: New Vegas most recently so it is them I shall make my goals. They both feature amnesia as a plot device, maybe I can work that in to real life.
What mountain of games?
Tuesday 22 November 2011
Mo money!
We did it! My Movember team (that of AceyBongos ownership) has passed the £1k mark eight full days before Movember ends.
Plenty of time for more donations then!
Head on over to Movember via either the above link or this one to donate more of your hard earned moola to a worthy cause.
Thanks to everyone who has donated. Feel free to demand I buy you a drink if we ever meet.
Plenty of time for more donations then!
Head on over to Movember via either the above link or this one to donate more of your hard earned moola to a worthy cause.
Thanks to everyone who has donated. Feel free to demand I buy you a drink if we ever meet.
Is that you, John Wayne?
Red Dead Redemption has become my latest haunt since Modern Warfare 3 devoured all my friends.
It's wonderful. A bright, vibrant, violent, dangerous and depressing wild west filled with various contrasting philosophies, creeds, races and nationalities.
It's like real life but better.
I rarely get lost in a game like I get lost in Red Dead. One minute I'm changing my son's nappy and kissing him goodnight, the next I'm galloping through the wilderness on my trusty steed searching for Buffalo.
At times I feel as if it's replicating how I would fare in situations similar to those that John gets himself into. While climbing up a mountainside to spy on a gang I tumbled multiple times from the top to the very bottom. I'm crap at climbing.
Red Dead also has an amazing ability to make me care about characters. Late in the game (spoiler alert!) you meet a native American chap called Nastas with whom you spend very little time, but who's death devastated me as I'd grown to really enjoy the character. No longer will I hear him wearily attempting to explain simple concepts to the Professor, no more will he be the voice of reason on our short trips.
Nastas is gone.
I'm no more a cowboy than I am a chocolate biscuit but Red Dead Redemption has certainly made me feel like one.
Bravo, Rockstar. Bravo.
Sunday 20 November 2011
Peer pressure
I used to endure playing Call of Duty 2 online on a 56k modem just because I loved it so much. I played Call of Duty 3 on the Wii and honestly think it's better there than it was on any other platform. When Modern Warfare came out I finished it in a single play through and when its sequel dropped I did the very same with it. I even enjoyed the story of Black Ops'.
But here's the thing: I don't want to buy Modern Warfare 3.
Maybe it's boredom. It's hard to stay excited about digging in to another CoD game when, let's face it, the gameplay is virtually copy-pasted from title to title. I have CoD fatigue.
The problem is that almost all of my gaming pals have moved on to this latest gun fest and left me behind. It's like me and Call of Duty had a divorce and it got all the friends in the settlement. In a strange way it makes me want to buy a game I don't want, simply to feel included.
I guess I'll always have Gears of War 3. At least I'm semi-capable at that game.
My secret stache
Actual size |
Alongside the raising awareness bit men also try and raise money as a sort of sponsorship for growing that facial fur modern men are too civilised to don.
I'll cut to the chase before you get bored and switch off: I've been taking part in this year's Movember.
I'd like to say that my stache is as far forward as is demonstrated above in this artists impression of me, but it would be a lie. The truth is that I'm not much on the moustache. I can grow a tiny beard, I can even generate sideburns with effort, but a nice luxurious moustache? Not a chance in hell.
It doesn't help matters that I've joined a Movember team that is populated mostly by men who are well blessed with the ability to grow hair from the follicles right above their top lips. Comparatively I look about as gruff and hairy as my eight week old son.
The team target is £1000 by the end of Movember. At the time of writing the team is sitting pretty at £783.
Help us hit our target!
Head on over to my MoSpace and hit either the "Donate to me" or the "Donate to my team" button. Regardless of which you press the money will go to the same place.
By clicking on my MoSpace you also get a chance to snigger incessantly at my pathetic attempt to grow facial hair, but I don't mind as long as you donate to the cause!
Finally, if you've already donated give yourself a high five. You've done your part...for now.
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